Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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