walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
