omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
how drunk are you?
Several
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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