i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
