i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
