I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
