i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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