ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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