oh god the rape fog is back!
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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