Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize