I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm at about main and main street
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
