With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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