I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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