either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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