Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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