I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
