At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
