Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
