Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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