You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
