we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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