yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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