Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
