plz talk dirty to me
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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