i permit you to call me
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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