You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
