I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize