as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
