Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Sorry my hands just texted you
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
