i was born a porn star she said
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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