They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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