my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
