Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
