Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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