my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
