I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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