I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
