were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
