It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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