I wish they made helmets for livers.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm like, not good at living.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
