Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize