u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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