found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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