It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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