FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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