just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
