Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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