cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
