he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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