I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
