She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Last time i carry you out of a forest
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
