I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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