i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
