don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize