i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
