Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
