I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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