That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
